Dating for Dummies: “You don’t have gf? Have you thought to?”

Dating for Dummies: “You don’t have gf? Have you thought to?”

A few, obviously bored stiff from their minds, stare intently at their smartphones in a Seoul restaurant. The talk that is small if you have any, is painful to eavesdrop on. Despite their matching clothing, ubiquitous few bands, and obligatory selfies together, they appear to have small in typical. Why the regularity of these pairings that are awkward the coffee shops of Seoul?

“You don’t have gf? Why don’t you?” is most likely the essential common concern solitary guys have expected in Southern Korea. Dating is just an endeavour that is fairly straightforward there isn’t any explanation never to take action, as my South Korean housemate constantly reminds me personally. Dating Г  la corГ©enne happens to be paid off to checking items off a listing, carrying out a textbook of do’s and don’ts. We offer you the lowdown:

The Introduction

The way that is easiest to fulfill ladies is through your buddy: he’ll expose you to somebody he knows and put up a sogaeting — a pre-arranged date. Instead, you can make use of an app that is sogaeting. When both both you and your girlfriend that is potential have on a night out together, make sure to dress to impress. Then visit Gangnam. Italian restaurants or VIPS would be the standard fare for times. If you should be unsure on how to speak to your date, don’t worry and simply prepare some topics beforehand: sites with guides and video lessons abound.

The Meetup

Whom foots the bill? Why you, of course. Her duties are restricted to spending money on after-dinner coffee, but as long as the date goes well and you also go to Round Two. Also my gallant housemate admits to hating the obligatory dinner purchase but seems he “has no choice”. Following the date concludes and you have actually appeared home, the ‘after-message’ to verify interest is a must. See here for well-documented methods that are successful. But don’t forget that timing is important and that the message should always be delivered within thirty minutes to an hour or so following the end associated with the date to make certain success that is optimal!

The Confession

Now if things are getting efficiently and also you have an interest in her own, make sure to formalise the offer with a love ‘confession’. It doesn’t matter how long you have got invested together, aside from everything you have inked together, things aren’t settled you are ‘official’ until you set in stone the two of. Tell her “i love you” or bluntly ask, “Do you want to get constant?” If she hesitates to resolve, just get back to “The Introduction” part with this article and start around again. Until your confession of real love is accepted by somebody, it really is permissible to see one or more girl at any given time. It is referred to as eojang gwalli — ‘managing your seafood stock’.

But you have just entered into a relationship and it’s time to get serious if she accepts your heartfelt plea.


Success! At this point you have gf, a marker of or both. But this isn’t the conclusion. It is now time for you to purchase matching shoes, few bands, exchange hourly texts, work with a ‘selfie-stick’, head to areas, browse coffee shops, look for pet cafГ©s. Simply speaking, the number of choices are endless.


Needless to say, thoughts is broken ‘going steady’, the cinema is vital. Areas have also popped up to improve and diversify the feeling, with premium couple-seats on offer. Take pleasure in the connection with staring blankly at a display screen for 2 hours, peppered in some places with gruesome scenes that automatically hand-clutching that is prompt which gives her the reassurance that oppa has arrived.

Wedding Anniversaries

As time goes by, you have to commemorate your own time together: seven days, a month, 100 times… Such milestones confirm the status that is healthy of and produce a feeling of accomplishment.

100th time current to gf. Guidance please

Day ^^“Please can someone advise me on what to offer my girlfriend for our 100th

We’re going to reach our 100 times week that is together next however with only some times to spare, I’m beginning to concern yourself with things to offer her .г…њ.г…Ў Letters and plants will be the norm, however if there’s other things besides that I’d appreciate some advice. Exactly just What do other dudes often give on the 100th time?? By the real way, she’s 24”. Supply: Daum tip forum


Ideally earlier than later, you will opt to be intimate. Don’t stress though. That’s all cared for too. Love motels provide a sex that is all-inclusive, maybe maybe not least the welcome pack containing condoms, lube, and desensitizing cream for those who are extremely eager. Without doubt, the savvy few will know which sites and apps to utilize for discount rates.

The Fact

My housemate is right. With all you need to easily do conveniently and presented for you, there really is not any excuse never to date. (Love, nonetheless, is optional.) The pity to be branded a motaesollo — “a loner since conception” — is after all most useful prevented and just how simpler to do this than by getting into a relationship? However in numerous instances, the things I see is a costly ritualised performance of courtship: a prescribed group of inevitable activities marching toward the goal that is ultimate wedding.

But until then, dating is anticipated if one desires to avoid costs of impotence, deviance, or homosexuality. In reality, some south that is gay friends turn to using a ‘couple ring’ at the job to imagine these are typically right plus in a relationship, because they should really be. It really works like no bodies business, i will be told.

We often have the South Korean scene that is dating like a Petri meal: a synthetic environment containing most of the right nutritional elements to market the quick cultivation of partners. Valentine’s Day, White Day, Pepero Day, the 100-day anniversary… All are grotesque reminders of exactly exactly how relationship in Southern Korea happens to be commodified in accordance with some ideal of Western middle-class romance, and repackaged into a kitschy item that is must-have.

Are you aware that couple that is hopeless the cafe, these are generally both ‘in need’ of a relationship — and status and normalcy it confers. So they really date one another away from convenience, expectation, and maybe — when you look at the scenario that is best-case a measure of love. But irrespective, surrounded by such extreme pressures to conform to societal ‘norms’ and perform set functions, they turn society’s desires in their desires, and additionally they continue steadily to concur with the consumerism of relationship.

Raphael Rashid authored this short article.

To get more on dating tradition in South Korea, read:

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